Cheney Woos Liberals From Senate Floor

Vice President Dick Cheney dropped the F-bomb on the floor of the Senate on Tuesday. Political observers were shocked and awed with the news that the unabashedly homophobic Dick Cheney was encouraging Senator Patrick Leahy to practice sodomy on himself. The less than friendly tone of Cheney's remarks also seemed to call into question the sincerity of Cheney's previously expressed intent "to change the tone in Washington, to restore a spirit of civility and respect and cooperation."

Hard core conservatives breathed a sigh of relief when it was revealed that the F-bomb gambit was actually part of a carefully orchestrated effort on the part of the failing and flailing Bush-Cheney campaign to reach across the aisle and encourage liberals to support Bush in the fall elections. Said Dennis Prager of the conservative online magazine townhall.com:

I also believe that he used the f-word thinking it would impress the largely liberal and hip young readers of Rolling Stone. In other words, [he] believes that he can appeal to many liberals by coming off as one who has overthrown some of the disciplines of our society.

Top aides in the Cheney inner circle confirmed that dropping the f-bomb was part of a concerted effort to show that Cheney has cast off the shackles of society's disciplines.

"By outing a covert CIA agent and advocating the use of tortue Vice President Cheney has amply demonstrated his disregard of societal convention and federal law," said Cheney Chief-of-Staff, Lewis 'Scooter' Libby. "Dropping the f-bomb is just the next logical step in appealing to hip young readers of Rolling Stone and Maxim."

Libby declined to reveal what Cheney's next stunt might entail but he hinted that it would include a dead goat and a live dwarf.