Defending Marriage

Marvin is tilling some fertile ground today. He reminds us of the principled manner in which Bush has approached his decision to Defend American Marriage. Josh Marshall is working the same ground here and here.

By taking out those nasty gay people Bush and his crowd are doing some really good work.

But I want to know where are all the rest of these so-called defenders of marriage? Why aren't they doing more to stop the slow, steady decline of marriage as a sacred institution? Ohio recently passed a Defense of Marriage bill. But what, exactly, is it defending?

Where is the provision that bans divorce? Marriage is sacred. My dictionary tells me that sacred means "inviolable." Divorce is a violation, no? Let us punish the evil-doers who would profane the marriage of a man and a woman by tearing it asunder.

The sanctity of marriage brings with it certain responsibilities. Traditionally one of those responsibilities has always been procreation. Where is the paragraph in the Ohio bill or the proposed amendment to the Constitution of the United States that jails married couples who fail to produce an offspring after 5 years of marriage? The Ohio bill goes to great lengths to couch the rationale for the legislation in terms of the "strong public policy of the state." What could be more important to the public policy of Ohio and the nation at large than ensuring future generations of little boys and little girls who can grow up and marry each other?

And where are the harsh punishments for the likes of the Fox TV executives who dreamed up Darva Conger, Rick Rockwell, and Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Fox, of course, should have it's FCC license revoked for treating marriage as mere entertainment rather than the holy, matrimonial institution that it is. And let us not leave out the myriad of copy-cat crimes that have desecrated marriage. My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee, The Bachelor, and the rest of these shows. Don't they all end with a televised wedding? Everyone on the sets of all these shows should be hauled off to jail for a good long time.

And what are we to do with someone like Brittany Spears? As soon as she had her fifty-six hour marriage annulled she should have been promptly executed. On live TV. That would be a real Defense of Marriage Act.