Third Time's The Charm

Tonight is the third and final presidential debate. The questions will focus on domestic affairs.

But the BIG QUESTION is this: Which George will show up tonight?

This is a seminal moment in television history.

Bigger than a Super Bowl half-time show featuring Janet Jackson's nipple.

Bigger than the final episode of Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire in which Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger perverted the meaning of marriage.

Bigger even than the Who Shot J.R. cliffhanger of 1980.

Will it be another episode of Furious George? Passive George? Intoxi-George? Grimace George? Wired George?

Will the moderator wear body armor to protect himself? Bob Schieffer is from CBS raising the possibility that Petulant George might cry (or at least whine).

How many times will Angry Timber Boy George use the word "librul?" How many times will Inconsistent George claim his opponent has raised taxes? (Sort of like McCarthy's "card-carrying Communists -- the number keeps changing.) How many codes (e.g. Dred Scott = Abortion) will Blinking Morse Code George try to send subliminably?

Will Pretty George wink knowingly at the moderator? Will Ineffective George try in vain (as in the first debate) to drink from an empty glass? (Sort of an apt metaphor, don't you think?) Will "I Hear Voices" George interrupt himself to demand that he be allowed to finish his remarks? Will Hard Work George start to fall asleep at the lectern at around 9:55 EST?

And just how many different Georges can make an appearance in one 90 minute debate?

Yes, it should be an exciting night. I'm all atwitter. The suspense is killing me.

Who will George try to be tonight? Tune in and find out.