Dispelling Military Myths

Today I got an e-mail extolling the virtues of a few of the bravest fighting men ever to don the uniform of America's fighting forces. Betcha didn't know that Bob Keeshan (aka Captain Kangaroo) fought his way up Mount Suribachi at the Battle of Iwo Jima. Private Lee Marvin (yes, the tough guy actor) claims Captain Kangaroo was the bravest man he ever knew. And here's another little tidbit from the e-mail:

On another note, there was this wimpy little man (who just passed away) on PBS, gentle and quiet. Mr. Rogers is another of those you would least suspect of being anything but what he now portrays to our youth. But Mr. Rogers was a US Navy Seal, combat proven in Vietnam with over twenty-five confirmed kills to his name. He wore a long sleeve sweater on his show to cover the many tattoos on his forearm and biceps.

A master in small arms and hand-to-hand combat, able to disarm or kill in a heartbeat. After the war Mr. Rogers became an ordained Presbyterian minister and therefore a pacifist. Vowing to never harm another human and also dedicating the rest of his life to trying to help lead children on he right path in life. He hid the tattoos and his past life away and won our hearts with his quiet wit and charm.

Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers: Stong. Disciplined. Killing machines. Who knew?

Apparently, however, Fred and Bob did about as much to defend our country during war as George Bush during Vietnam. The folks over at the Urban Legends Reference Pages have the complete run down on the military careers of the good neighbor and the Captain.

And since we're on the topic of urban legends, let's say a little more about Bush's military service. In my previous post about Scott McClellan's circular reasoning I may have been too hard on the poor press secretary. Turns out he's just following the boss's lead. Check out Bush's attempt to explain it during the Russert interview:

President Bush: Yeah, they’re — they're just wrong. There may be no evidence, but I did report; otherwise, I wouldn't have been honorably discharged. In other words, you don't just say "I did something" without there being verification. Military doesn't work that way. I got an honorable discharge, and I did show up in Alabama.

In lieu of another lesson on syllogisms, I'll leave it to the folks at TNR to describe how getting an "honorable discharge" is par for the course, whether or not you actually bothered to show up.

On another note, I find the second sentence of Bush's response curious: "You don't just say 'I did something' without there being verification." Huh? Isn't that exactly what this White House is doing? They say he served. They say he showed up for duty. So where is the verification? Sure, we've seen pay stubs, dental records, and torn documents. But as far as I can tell the evidence so far shows merely that Bush got paid, got his teeth checked, and that someone tore a document. Not very impressive.

It seems then that George and I finally agree on something: We need verification of his claim that he actually served. And I'm sure we'll get it. To wit:

Russert: But you authorize the release of everything to settle this?

President Bush: Yes, absolutely.

I can't wait. Until then, I'll keep trolling over on the urban legends pages.