Let the Spin Begin

Damn those nasty, negative Democrats. Can't they go six hours without falling into an abyss of negativity? Gosh, I wish they would quit with the politics of personal destruction. Their constant criticism and carping just annoys me.

Thankfully, I didn't need to actually watch any part of the convention to conclude that the Democrats have already failed in their goal of an upbeat convention. Three of my four local news stations made that assessment for me.

And, lucky for me, my local media was considerate of my time. They devoted only 90 seconds to the Democratic Hate Fest. Their prudent use of my time allowed them to spend another 90 seconds dissecting the impertinent words of Cheney wanna-be Teresa Heinz Kerry.

Thankfully, The Denver Post (with this AP wire story) also freed me from having to think deeply by using convenient words and phrases like Democrats "...accused President Bush of botching the economy and the war on terror...Opening night criticism of Bush...criticized Bush for his handling of Iraq, the economy and more..."

Even my beloved Governor Bill Owens got in on the act. Demonstrating a precognition I didn't realize he possessed Governor Owens spoke -- Monday morning, amazingly enough -- about the negativity that suffused tonight's diatribes.

I sure wish I had cable so I could find out tonight from the talking heads what those vile Democrats are going to say tomorrow. That way I won't have to watch tomorrow's coverage either. Oh, wait, the networks aren't broadcasting the convention on Tuesday. A mere hour's worth of coverage apparently cuts too deeply into reruns of The Bachelorette 4. Thank goodness.