Good News For GOP

It's not lost on me that most things I write in this blog are anathema to conservatives. Of course the reason for that is because, unfortunately, most modern conservatives have fallen in the abyss of George W. Bush's Cult of Personality. The folly of and reasons for this sad state of affairs are topics for another post. The purpose of this post is to proclaim Good News about which Republicans can be happy. If you're a Republican, the following true story is offered to warm the cockles of your heart.

I have been very focused in recent weeks on canvassing and GOTV efforts. Over this past weekend I called over 250 registered voters who sporadically vote Democratic or are registered Independent. For my efforts I spoke to a lot of answering machines. When I actually spoke to a real person they were mostly very nice and excited about voting for Kerry on Tuesday (except for those who had already cast an early vote for Kerry).

Now here's the part that Republican's will love. One of the voters I called to speak with (we'll call him Joe) was not home. Joe's mom, however, was home. She was very nice. Like so many others I had spoken with, she told me that she and her husband had already cast their early ballot for Kerry. Joe, however, had been unable to cast an early ballot. Joe was planning to vote for Kerry on Tuesday. Fortunately (for Republicans) Joe was unexpectedly called out of town for work and would be 1000 miles away from his precinct on election day.

I offered to explore possible options for obtaining an emergency ballot for Joe. And I'm still in the process of trying to secure some kind of last minute absentee ballot. Alas, the chances of Joe being able to cast a ballot look very slim at this point.

So while the GOP has been busy preventing Mary Poppins and Mickey Mouse from voting in Ohio they've missed an excellent opportunity to suppress, much more easily and covertly, Democratic turnout. Next time around I suggest that all Republican bosses make up some excuse to send workers out of state on election day. Of course, you've got to do this at the last minute so as to prevent the great unwashed masses from securing an absentee ballot.

The benefit of this approach for Republicans is that it gives you two chances to prevent people from voting. And surely that's something to giddily satisfy Republicans everywhere.